Chemo

You guys, I thought I could handle this, but right now I'm not so sure.

I had chemo on Thursday. It went fine. They pre-medicated me with Benadryl, Tylenol and anti-nausea medication, then they did the chemo through the port. I felt fine when we left and even had a nice dinner with Dave, Kath and Sam.

Friday morning, I woke up at 5 am with a terrible headache and sick to my stomach. Started my anti-nausea medication, which didn't do shit. Threw up that nice dinner in the kitchen sink at 7.

I hate to be graphic, but it's been awful. I threw up every 2-3 hours yesterday. I finally went to Kaiser last night and they gave me an IV of the anti-nausea goop, which helped quite a bit, but as soon as I got in the car to go home I started to feel wonky again. Tried to take Tylenol for another headache at 1 am, but threw up again at 2.

That was the last time I threw up, and it's now 11:30 Saturday morning. Dave's taken Sam to the park to play. I took a variety of anti-nausea meds in my own made up order and seem to have gotten somewhere, or at maybe it's just that the vomiting part is over, but I'm sitting up for the first time today. So far, Gingerale is not the miracle cure it was when I was pregnant, and the only thing I've kept down is a single popsicle. I've lost five pounds since Thursday.

I just feel so betrayed by my body right now. I guess I should have expected a violent reaction. After all, I tried to poison myself two days ago. But I really thought it wouldn't be this bad. I want to crawl in a hole and stay there until this is over.

Sorry to be depressing, but for now I have to leave it at that.