Okay! Seems like things are going along swimmingly at the moment!
Kath and Chris took Sam yesterday for a 24-hour chemo-weekend respite as usual. (You girls rock!) Instead of lying on the couch the whole time, I actually spent some quality time with the hubs. That's rare because we hardly ever ask anyone to watch him, so we usually have to take an afternoon off from work to hang out together, except for the 30 minutes between when we put Sam to bed and when I pass out in the evenings. This reminded me that I need to look for a teenager to babysit at home, maybe after the boy turns 3.
Dave and I went and shot some pool (no beer for me :( ), then grabbed some dinner, then went for ice cream. I was surprised I was eating so much, but I decided to just go for whatever I wanted instead of trying to restrict myself too much.
This morning I got a lot of planning done, and now Kath and Sam are due back any minute. I missed him. I don't know if I'm ready to run a 5K or anything, but I think I can hold my own this afternoon. Yippee!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Cycle 4
Wow! I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted to this blog!
Started cycle 4 today. I can't believe I'm almost 2/3 done with chemo. It's possible I'm still in just the very early post-chemo, pre-sick phase of cycle four, but (knock on wood) I feel pretty good right now. I don't remember feeling this good last time the night of chemo, but I don't want to jinx it.
I had a wonderful dinner last night with my sister, my mom, two of my cousins, and an aunt. It was so much fun to hang out with everyone. We were laughing so hard, I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out of the joint. Victoria's Gastro Pub in Columbia? Definitely worth a visit.
I have been anxious to find out if I'll qualify for genetic counseling to determine if I have one of the breast cancer genes, which are also markers for ovarian cancer. Since women with the gene who get cancer in 1 breast are 70% likely to get cancer in the other breast at some point (per one of my surgeons), I think it's worth exploring to determine if I should have both breasts removed next year when I'll be having a mastectomy.
My oncologist's first reaction was that my insurance might not pay for it because I have no family history. That's pretty disappointing, but he did get me a consult with the genetic counselors, so I'm trying to schedule that now. At first I thought that meant that I would be able to get the test, but now I'm thinking it means I get to have an appointment with the person who will decide if I get the test. So my hopes are dashed somewhat.
Dave isn't in favor of the test. He's been reading about false negatives and stuff. But I don't want to go through this again. Not to mention, ovarian cancer is very insidious. It jumps to stage four with few symptoms, which makes removal of the ovaries (if I have the gene) a pretty logical option (with a bit of a delay, if we decide to have another baby).
I'm not trying to freak out about this or anything. There's time. I'm just saying it'd be good to have the facts. Not to mention my sister's pretty interested in the results, and I can't say I blame her.
I did find out last night (in between bouts of tea coming out of my nose from laughing so hard) that another aunt, who passed away a few years ago, had breast cancer. She didn't die of it, but she had it, so I figure that helps my chances.
I should say that I don't really have too many horror stories about my insurance. I realize lots of people do, but Kaiser's been pretty good to us so far. It's been a hellish ride, but that's just the nature of it, I think. They allowed pretty much every test I could have. So I'm hopeful this one will happen too. If it doesn't, then it doesn't and we'll just have to stay on top of it, I guess.
Anyway, finger's crossed that I feel this good tomorrow and Sunday, people.
Started cycle 4 today. I can't believe I'm almost 2/3 done with chemo. It's possible I'm still in just the very early post-chemo, pre-sick phase of cycle four, but (knock on wood) I feel pretty good right now. I don't remember feeling this good last time the night of chemo, but I don't want to jinx it.
I had a wonderful dinner last night with my sister, my mom, two of my cousins, and an aunt. It was so much fun to hang out with everyone. We were laughing so hard, I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out of the joint. Victoria's Gastro Pub in Columbia? Definitely worth a visit.
I have been anxious to find out if I'll qualify for genetic counseling to determine if I have one of the breast cancer genes, which are also markers for ovarian cancer. Since women with the gene who get cancer in 1 breast are 70% likely to get cancer in the other breast at some point (per one of my surgeons), I think it's worth exploring to determine if I should have both breasts removed next year when I'll be having a mastectomy.
My oncologist's first reaction was that my insurance might not pay for it because I have no family history. That's pretty disappointing, but he did get me a consult with the genetic counselors, so I'm trying to schedule that now. At first I thought that meant that I would be able to get the test, but now I'm thinking it means I get to have an appointment with the person who will decide if I get the test. So my hopes are dashed somewhat.
Dave isn't in favor of the test. He's been reading about false negatives and stuff. But I don't want to go through this again. Not to mention, ovarian cancer is very insidious. It jumps to stage four with few symptoms, which makes removal of the ovaries (if I have the gene) a pretty logical option (with a bit of a delay, if we decide to have another baby).
I'm not trying to freak out about this or anything. There's time. I'm just saying it'd be good to have the facts. Not to mention my sister's pretty interested in the results, and I can't say I blame her.
I did find out last night (in between bouts of tea coming out of my nose from laughing so hard) that another aunt, who passed away a few years ago, had breast cancer. She didn't die of it, but she had it, so I figure that helps my chances.
I should say that I don't really have too many horror stories about my insurance. I realize lots of people do, but Kaiser's been pretty good to us so far. It's been a hellish ride, but that's just the nature of it, I think. They allowed pretty much every test I could have. So I'm hopeful this one will happen too. If it doesn't, then it doesn't and we'll just have to stay on top of it, I guess.
Anyway, finger's crossed that I feel this good tomorrow and Sunday, people.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Feeling like updating
So I'm feeling like updating, but I don't really have anything too uplifting to say.
Today, Sam had a field trip to Baugher's Orchard. He brought back a little pumpkin and couple of apples. Apparently there was a little hay ride as well. Would have been a fun trip to take, but I just didn't have it in me. He was such a buster this morning. He crossed his arms and announced he didn't want to go to school. ever. again.
Dave was home this morning to meet our home builder and do the final walk through, which basically threw Sam off his game and caused the tantrum. I get that. But my chemo-addled brain isn't exactly with the program, so I was kind of annoyed by it all this morning.
I tried really hard to have an intelligent conversation with my sister about work stuff this morning, but I had to give up on working by about 10 am. There was just no way to make my brain conform. And as we know, no work equals no moolah. And that sucks.
Also, my designer's girlfriend is about to have a baby any minute, which isn't really helping my stress levels.
Oh well.
Today, Sam had a field trip to Baugher's Orchard. He brought back a little pumpkin and couple of apples. Apparently there was a little hay ride as well. Would have been a fun trip to take, but I just didn't have it in me. He was such a buster this morning. He crossed his arms and announced he didn't want to go to school. ever. again.
Dave was home this morning to meet our home builder and do the final walk through, which basically threw Sam off his game and caused the tantrum. I get that. But my chemo-addled brain isn't exactly with the program, so I was kind of annoyed by it all this morning.
I tried really hard to have an intelligent conversation with my sister about work stuff this morning, but I had to give up on working by about 10 am. There was just no way to make my brain conform. And as we know, no work equals no moolah. And that sucks.
Also, my designer's girlfriend is about to have a baby any minute, which isn't really helping my stress levels.
Oh well.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Day 3
Day 3 is probably the hardest and most depressing day of the whole cycle. And, for those of you who are counting, today is day 3.
Yesterday, Dave's allergies got really bad, which sucked because I was kind of counting on him to keep Sam busy all day, and it turned out he was on Benadryl, so I just toughed it out. Kath came to get Sam a little after 4, and he was ready to go with her, but apparently started crying for mommy in the car a little while later. I feel bad when he does that. I know he'll get over it, but still it's scary for Auntie. And then, of course, I missed him all night, especially when I put one of his books in his room right before my bedtime and he wasn't there.
I kept myself busy by reorganizing my office, which I guess means I have some energy, but I have to say it's the kind of nervous energy you get when you don't know what the hell's going on or what's going to happen next, or if you should take that medicine now or wait an hour. I'm thirsty, but I don't know if water will make me nauseated. I'm bored, but I'm afraid of Quizno's commercials. I feel okay, but I just never know when that's going to change.
Overall, I'm doing much, much better than last time. I have acupuncture tomorrow, which will be a plus. Everything's going pretty much okay, except that I still have cancer.
Yesterday, Dave's allergies got really bad, which sucked because I was kind of counting on him to keep Sam busy all day, and it turned out he was on Benadryl, so I just toughed it out. Kath came to get Sam a little after 4, and he was ready to go with her, but apparently started crying for mommy in the car a little while later. I feel bad when he does that. I know he'll get over it, but still it's scary for Auntie. And then, of course, I missed him all night, especially when I put one of his books in his room right before my bedtime and he wasn't there.
I kept myself busy by reorganizing my office, which I guess means I have some energy, but I have to say it's the kind of nervous energy you get when you don't know what the hell's going on or what's going to happen next, or if you should take that medicine now or wait an hour. I'm thirsty, but I don't know if water will make me nauseated. I'm bored, but I'm afraid of Quizno's commercials. I feel okay, but I just never know when that's going to change.
Overall, I'm doing much, much better than last time. I have acupuncture tomorrow, which will be a plus. Everything's going pretty much okay, except that I still have cancer.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Rah, Steroids
I guess I've been missing in action for a while. That's probably because I am using all my brain cells to keep track of my freakin' medication!
This morning I got to start my steroid, which is making me feel like a super-hero. Rah, steroids! I won't sleep tonight, but that's okay. I'm actually starting the 'roids later this time (my treatment is tomorrow) and will get to take them longer, which I'm hoping will help me avoid the worst part of the nausea. I also got a sweet anti-nausea med called Emend which is supposed to kick ass. We'll see how it goes.
I'm making Dave take me tomorrow, because between the steroid, the immodium, the Emend, the vicodin and - oh yeah, the chemo - I'm probably going to be a space cadet after my treatment is over. Probably not a real great idea to drive in that state.
If anyone is in need of a good laugh, give me a buzz on Saturday or Sunday as I will be completely stoned.
In other news, I'm thinking about grad school (again). I really have no business thinking about grad school, because the timing is just atrocious, but at the same time, I've got this whole mortality thing to deal with, so I guess this is really the perfect time to think about doing things I've always wished I'd done. So I'm reading a lot (in a disorganized effort to get ready for the GRE) and talking to some old profs for ideas and (hopefully, eventually) recommendations, and generally feeling it all out.
I'm also thinking about the baby thing again. Who knows if it will even be possible? But if it is, I'd really, really like to have another baby. Dave isn't fully on board, but I think he'll go along if I really want to do it. I'm not pressing the issue right now because we totally have to get through the chemo thing first. What impact will that have on the grad school thing? Too early to tell.
It occurs to me that planning is kind of pointless. Because you think you have a plan, and then whammo! You have cancer. Or whatever. But if you don't plan, nothing happens, and you wake up when you're shriveled and gray and wonder what the hell happened. So maybe the best we can do is flexible planning. Have a goal, but don't get too attached to the time frame. Because shit happens.
What do you think?
This morning I got to start my steroid, which is making me feel like a super-hero. Rah, steroids! I won't sleep tonight, but that's okay. I'm actually starting the 'roids later this time (my treatment is tomorrow) and will get to take them longer, which I'm hoping will help me avoid the worst part of the nausea. I also got a sweet anti-nausea med called Emend which is supposed to kick ass. We'll see how it goes.
I'm making Dave take me tomorrow, because between the steroid, the immodium, the Emend, the vicodin and - oh yeah, the chemo - I'm probably going to be a space cadet after my treatment is over. Probably not a real great idea to drive in that state.
If anyone is in need of a good laugh, give me a buzz on Saturday or Sunday as I will be completely stoned.
In other news, I'm thinking about grad school (again). I really have no business thinking about grad school, because the timing is just atrocious, but at the same time, I've got this whole mortality thing to deal with, so I guess this is really the perfect time to think about doing things I've always wished I'd done. So I'm reading a lot (in a disorganized effort to get ready for the GRE) and talking to some old profs for ideas and (hopefully, eventually) recommendations, and generally feeling it all out.
I'm also thinking about the baby thing again. Who knows if it will even be possible? But if it is, I'd really, really like to have another baby. Dave isn't fully on board, but I think he'll go along if I really want to do it. I'm not pressing the issue right now because we totally have to get through the chemo thing first. What impact will that have on the grad school thing? Too early to tell.
It occurs to me that planning is kind of pointless. Because you think you have a plan, and then whammo! You have cancer. Or whatever. But if you don't plan, nothing happens, and you wake up when you're shriveled and gray and wonder what the hell happened. So maybe the best we can do is flexible planning. Have a goal, but don't get too attached to the time frame. Because shit happens.
What do you think?
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