I guess I've been missing in action for a while. That's probably because I am using all my brain cells to keep track of my freakin' medication!
This morning I got to start my steroid, which is making me feel like a super-hero. Rah, steroids! I won't sleep tonight, but that's okay. I'm actually starting the 'roids later this time (my treatment is tomorrow) and will get to take them longer, which I'm hoping will help me avoid the worst part of the nausea. I also got a sweet anti-nausea med called Emend which is supposed to kick ass. We'll see how it goes.
I'm making Dave take me tomorrow, because between the steroid, the immodium, the Emend, the vicodin and - oh yeah, the chemo - I'm probably going to be a space cadet after my treatment is over. Probably not a real great idea to drive in that state.
If anyone is in need of a good laugh, give me a buzz on Saturday or Sunday as I will be completely stoned.
In other news, I'm thinking about grad school (again). I really have no business thinking about grad school, because the timing is just atrocious, but at the same time, I've got this whole mortality thing to deal with, so I guess this is really the perfect time to think about doing things I've always wished I'd done. So I'm reading a lot (in a disorganized effort to get ready for the GRE) and talking to some old profs for ideas and (hopefully, eventually) recommendations, and generally feeling it all out.
I'm also thinking about the baby thing again. Who knows if it will even be possible? But if it is, I'd really, really like to have another baby. Dave isn't fully on board, but I think he'll go along if I really want to do it. I'm not pressing the issue right now because we totally have to get through the chemo thing first. What impact will that have on the grad school thing? Too early to tell.
It occurs to me that planning is kind of pointless. Because you think you have a plan, and then whammo! You have cancer. Or whatever. But if you don't plan, nothing happens, and you wake up when you're shriveled and gray and wonder what the hell happened. So maybe the best we can do is flexible planning. Have a goal, but don't get too attached to the time frame. Because shit happens.
What do you think?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
i think you are a wise woman. you don't want to have no goals, because well, then you are a loser. but if you have goals that take over your life and keep you from LIVING (especially when life kicks you in the ass) then that makes you a loser too. but, it seems to me you've figured it all out. and that my friend makes you a winner.
ReplyDeletepraying this round of chemo involves less vomiting than the last one.
and also, as for grad school, you are going to live to be 100, so there's plenty of time!